not dark yet

I don't know if there is a God.Who knows. And i am not here to judge his existence.Who am I.

Like that is tough to define,the presence of divinity can bring about unsolved answers. But who cares? Therefore if you don't care you might as well start putting an image to "god" and come up with your own conclusion whether "he" exists. I do and therefore I can share.

Many times in my life I've reached a crossroad and I'm left in a dilemma. scratching my head I think, "hmm....now which way is best suited for me?" I can't be rooted to a contemplation for too long so in conclusion I just take a Path. I don't know why my feet are heading towards a certain destination because I never came to a decision to begin with. But I don't argue and I proceed trying to enjoy the walk. I don't know where it's going to lead me but I still walk. Someone wants me to.....why not?

I experience quite a few obstacles along the way but if somebody hadn't made me walk that way in the first place, I wouldn't be there. I don't know if I'm going around the circles but the point I'm trying to drive across is that "there is a reason".

Now I'll tell you a little incident which took place that made me see "reason"...four years later. I went to college in Delhi,made up my mind to take English Literature as my major. Something about the language fascinates me.

But in my hunt for a 'popular' college, I substitute my fascination for compromise. My first obstacle started here. Eventually, I landed up taking B.A pass. What is B.A pass? Exactly. In Delhi it's called the "Royal Course". I must be blessed with blue blood.

in B.A pass you can select all four subjects. How royal. No other course offers you that freedom. I basked in my royalty till I was faced with reality.

I made the wrong choice of subjects and that would be my second obstacle.

Now, I was seriously running out of choices. Left with little to bank on I sought for Philosophy, English, Business Management (Business Management???) and the fourth....I forget.....

I might not remember my fourth subject but I remember my Business Management (BM) classes. It's so like it was yesterday. The days I went for my BM classes are so vivid because days I spent there were few. How precious.

I somehow scrape through B.A pass. I better. Come third Year it suddenly dawns on me that I made the wrong choice and hence came my biggest blow - my third obstacle. I fail in my BM subject.

You should have been there when the news hit me. I still shudder to think about it. I was pale, numb, almost dizzy. For a person who's never failed a subject couldn't pass Business Management.

I bawled.

I don't remember crying so much. The tears won't stop - I seriously thought it was the end of the world for me. And that's when I saw a flicker of light. And that's When I also realized I wasn't alone. My big brother consoled me, it's "not the end of the world", he said. Strange how we think alike.That it's "no big deal".

Suddenly the tears came to a halt and a ray of sunlight beamed on me.I was injected with a certain calm and confidence.

Next year I gave my much hated Business Management back paper. I passed.

Now the sun shone bright, everything around me looked crystal clear, there's happiness and peace of mind. I finally got my B.A pass degree. I'm a graduate.

But humans have the tendency to highlight their shortcomings. I cowered down a little and pondered, What does a pass degree hold in this competitive world? I don't stand a chance.

But I took my chance on that crossroad and with my modesty intact I can sincerely be proud that I hold a job at WAVE and Hits FM. Two jobs I could only dream of - music and English language - what else could I have yearned for? One failure has made me acquire two of my dreams come true.

Now do I think there is a God? I do.

HERE, I REFERS TO MR.TSERING CHODEN.